Hello, world. I’m MacDara Conroy, and this is my blog.

If I Were Paul Heyman

I know I’m late commenting on the fact that Hulk Hogan is, for the sixth time, WWF Champion. In a perfect world, I would have waited ’til the end of the year before even giving him a title shot, let alone the freaking belt (and I sure as hell wouldn’t have changed him back to the god-awful red and yellow – jeez even back in the 80’s that was gaudy). But I don’t really care that much. It’s only profit-dictated expediency on the part of Vince McMahon. I bet he never had this current plan in mind when he re-signed Hogan all of three months ago. It won’t last long. The wave of nostalgia will wane, Hogan will say his final farewell, and the world will be a slightly better place.

While I’m on the subject, here’s a few things I would suggest If I Were Paul Heyman:

  • Make the nWo bigger, but not too big: Too many members spoiled the nWo broth back in WCW, but right now there aren’t enough, and it’s leaving me hungry. They could do with maybe diversifying the brand. For example, add the Undertaker, Brock Lesnar and myself (if I were Paul Heyman) to the nWo. It’ll work, trust me. And hey, Chris Jericho could finally form that Canadian stable that’s been talked about forever; it could be nWo Canada or something to that effect. Limit it to Jericho, Test, Christian and Lance Storm… and maybe Benoit, if he wanted to turn heel. And look at all the old ECW guys with nothing to do – they could be the nWo Revolution, a gimmick that could also serve as a nice way to introduce new talent from the farm leagues. And it almost goes without saying: have an nWo presence on both Raw and SmackDown! Doing things this way means that there’s as little chaff as possible (no nWo B-team, as it were), whilst maximising the nWo as a real threat to the WWF, storyline-wise.
  • Kurt Angle and Booker T – make them a team: There doesn’t seem to be any direction for either of these guys in singles competition, even though they’re two of the best workers the WWF has. So why not team them up? They’d be much more credible tag team champions in my book than (uugh) Billy and Chuck, whilst the potential for some comedy stylings is just bursting to get out. Just imagine Booker teaching Angle how to do the Spinerooni. I’m tellin’ ya, it can’t fail.
  • Bring in some cruiserweight ringers from Japan: Tajiri is turning heel, so it’s the perfect opportunity for him to bring in some of his equally dastardly countrymen. They could sneak-attack Sho Funaki for being too American or something. Meanwhile, Taka Michinoku swears revenge, and brings in some friends of his own. Yeah, sure, it’s racial stereotyping, but this is just for exposition. The wrestling will speak for itself. It won’t be long before the ‘fans’ wake up and start throwing streamers at them as a mark of respect and admiration.