Him: So dude, when are you joining the medics with me?
Me: I’m not.
Him: Ahh why not?
Me: I’m a pacifist.
Him: But we’re _medics!_
Me: Dude I know you wish we were like the guys in Scrubs but life just ain’t like that, Bambi.
Him: (Queue music with me looking off into the distance)
Me: (Queue Wonder Years-esque voice-over)